I have now become the "embarrassing mom" to my daughter. She does not like it when I sing or dance in front of her friends and has asked me to refrain from doing it. I admit that I am sad, and feeling a little rejected. She used to like when I would sing and dance ... when she was five. I guess at 12 she does not think it is so cool anymore. I can't grab her butt and give it a pinch either, that is definitely not cool.
Oh, but she would like a red highlight "just one, pleassseeeee!" in her hair, now that would be cool!
Hey girl, your Mom is not ready for that kind of cool.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Secret Lives of Our Children
I thought I knew everything about my kids and who they are, who they really are ... deep down in their souls. After the last few months I have to admit that maybe I don't know as much as I thought. Can a six year old boy be that complex? Can an eleven year old girl have a social life I know nothing about? Am I really so clueless to think they couldn't navigate the unchartered waters of a civilized society, outside of our own home, without me? Apparently so.
I saw my son (6) kiss and hug his friend (a girl) goodbye after her birthday party today. I was so surprised by it, it was so touching, his pure and sweet display of affection. When I asked him about it he became embarrassed, surprised that anyone had witnessed it. He didn't want to talk about it...now I feel that by asking him I may have tainted the innocence of that kiss.
My daughter, oh where do I begin? She has an entire network of friends and their job it is to keep us adults completely in dark about what they are really up to. Who likes who. What they know about stuff, important stuff like the birds and bees stuff! When I had "the conversation" with her, she looked at me as if I had 3 heads and acted completely grossed out. According to another Mom they have known for quite some time. She is quite an actress!
I now think they are more comfortable with who they are at 6 & 11, then who I am at 40(ish). They do not have the burden of past mistakes to hold them back, from taking a leap, or standing up for themselves. Trying out there social status among their peers, having fights with good friends and then figuring out how to work it out. Having first crushes. But they also don't have the experience I have to guide them along...nor do they seem to want it. This is the saddest part.
If I could have anything, I wish I could make them understand that I know how it feels, to be 6 or 11. I wish they would tell me what they tell their friends so I could help them make the right choices and not make mistakes they may hurt them or others. I want them to know I was one of them once...and I could keep a secret, I swear.
I saw my son (6) kiss and hug his friend (a girl) goodbye after her birthday party today. I was so surprised by it, it was so touching, his pure and sweet display of affection. When I asked him about it he became embarrassed, surprised that anyone had witnessed it. He didn't want to talk about it...now I feel that by asking him I may have tainted the innocence of that kiss.
My daughter, oh where do I begin? She has an entire network of friends and their job it is to keep us adults completely in dark about what they are really up to. Who likes who. What they know about stuff, important stuff like the birds and bees stuff! When I had "the conversation" with her, she looked at me as if I had 3 heads and acted completely grossed out. According to another Mom they have known for quite some time. She is quite an actress!
I now think they are more comfortable with who they are at 6 & 11, then who I am at 40(ish). They do not have the burden of past mistakes to hold them back, from taking a leap, or standing up for themselves. Trying out there social status among their peers, having fights with good friends and then figuring out how to work it out. Having first crushes. But they also don't have the experience I have to guide them along...nor do they seem to want it. This is the saddest part.
If I could have anything, I wish I could make them understand that I know how it feels, to be 6 or 11. I wish they would tell me what they tell their friends so I could help them make the right choices and not make mistakes they may hurt them or others. I want them to know I was one of them once...and I could keep a secret, I swear.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
A Kindness "Do Over"
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
I thought this was a really great piece of wisdom to repeat and I try very hard to maintain it as a personal mantra. It really gets at the heart of the matter doesn't it?
xo,
Sher
I thought this was a really great piece of wisdom to repeat and I try very hard to maintain it as a personal mantra. It really gets at the heart of the matter doesn't it?
xo,
Sher
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Laugh Box
"Mom did you know you have a box in you that's called you laugh box?" asks my 6-year old son.
"Well no, I didn't. What does it do?" I ask.
"It holds all your giggles until they are ready to come out", he answers.
"Oh yeah and where is it?" I ask even more curiously.
"It's in your tummy", he cracks up, "I learned that on Sponge Bob!"
"Well no, I didn't. What does it do?" I ask.
"It holds all your giggles until they are ready to come out", he answers.
"Oh yeah and where is it?" I ask even more curiously.
"It's in your tummy", he cracks up, "I learned that on Sponge Bob!"
Hey! Guess what? Life is NOT Fair.
Who has taught our children to exclaim "that's not fair" when they do not get what they want. Who? I need to know, so I can have a word or two with them. Because I personally have not promised my kids that anything in their lives would ever be fair. I have never led them to believe, and foolishly so, that all things in life would be equal. I have tried to teach them to be kind and just. But I certainly did not promise fair in return. Yet I am constantly bombarded by the phrase.
I as a parent am so sick of hearing this phrase screamed, cried, or whispered by a disgruntled or even hysterical child. I want to yell back....Hey! Life isn't fair, so just you get used to it.
FAIR: Definition: free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge.
There is no such thing as fair, I truly believe this. There is only kindness and maybe the act of trying to be fair, but there is no real FAIR. We should strike that word from all of humanity. No one would suffer from the lack of it because it doesn't really exist. I dare someone to tell me different.
In the end I don't want my kids to strive for fairness, that is a fairytale. I want them to be better people by treating others with respect. I want them to know understand equality means. I want them to be aware that around them exists all kinds of things are are very, very unfair.... and then maybe try and do something about it.
I as a parent am so sick of hearing this phrase screamed, cried, or whispered by a disgruntled or even hysterical child. I want to yell back....Hey! Life isn't fair, so just you get used to it.
FAIR: Definition: free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice: a fair decision; a fair judge.
There is no such thing as fair, I truly believe this. There is only kindness and maybe the act of trying to be fair, but there is no real FAIR. We should strike that word from all of humanity. No one would suffer from the lack of it because it doesn't really exist. I dare someone to tell me different.
In the end I don't want my kids to strive for fairness, that is a fairytale. I want them to be better people by treating others with respect. I want them to know understand equality means. I want them to be aware that around them exists all kinds of things are are very, very unfair.... and then maybe try and do something about it.
Monday, March 24, 2008
45% of the Time
My daughter and I were doing a little soul searching together last night. I asked her if she would remember her childhood as a happy one...she thought for a moment, hesitant to answer, "I guess so, but you and daddy fight a lot." What! We fight a lot? I mean occasionally we have words but fight a lot...I had to do some serious thinking about this one. I guess truth be told we do raise our voices on occasion, especially when things get hectic and no one is listening.
I then asked her if she thought I was a good Mom? She told me like 45% of the the time. Hold on a minute 45%, you have got to be kidding me. I make Halloween Costumes, I let you have lots of friends over, I provide her with lots of great reading material. What more could a girl possibly want?!! After much negotiation I got her up to 75%, okay I could deal with that, I am only human after all.
Tonight her and her brother got into a real rockem sockem. He ended up with a tennis ball to the eye and I am sure a nice shiner for school tomorrow. When I sent her to her room explaining that she was older and 3 times his size and could seriously hurt him, she turned to me with a blank expression on her face and said "45%... Mom."
So I guess to be a good Mom I have to give her everything she wants and let every mistake go unnoticed. As she was going much later to check up on her brother I stopped her in the hall and said "that is okay honey, I love you 100% of the time and that is what matters most." She smiled...I think I maybe back up to 75%! Hurray!
xo,
Sher
I then asked her if she thought I was a good Mom? She told me like 45% of the the time. Hold on a minute 45%, you have got to be kidding me. I make Halloween Costumes, I let you have lots of friends over, I provide her with lots of great reading material. What more could a girl possibly want?!! After much negotiation I got her up to 75%, okay I could deal with that, I am only human after all.
Tonight her and her brother got into a real rockem sockem. He ended up with a tennis ball to the eye and I am sure a nice shiner for school tomorrow. When I sent her to her room explaining that she was older and 3 times his size and could seriously hurt him, she turned to me with a blank expression on her face and said "45%... Mom."
So I guess to be a good Mom I have to give her everything she wants and let every mistake go unnoticed. As she was going much later to check up on her brother I stopped her in the hall and said "that is okay honey, I love you 100% of the time and that is what matters most." She smiled...I think I maybe back up to 75%! Hurray!
xo,
Sher
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy Spring!
Gosh it seems like it has taken forever to get here. The winter has been so long, but here we are, finally in spring. I cannot think of anything wistful or funny to say, I just feel grateful for surviving the cold, dark days of winter. They seem to have gone on forever.
It is such a glorious feeling to leave the office at the end of the day and see the sun. Spontaneous games of wiffle ball are starting to break out in our yard...a sure sign of more fun times to come!
Yeah...spring is good. Have a happy one!
xo,
Sher
It is such a glorious feeling to leave the office at the end of the day and see the sun. Spontaneous games of wiffle ball are starting to break out in our yard...a sure sign of more fun times to come!
Yeah...spring is good. Have a happy one!
xo,
Sher
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)