The Secret Lives of Our Children

I thought I knew everything about my kids and who they are, who they really are ... deep down in their souls. After the last few months I have to admit that maybe I don't know as much as I thought. Can a six year old boy be that complex? Can an eleven year old girl have a social life I know nothing about? Am I really so clueless to think they couldn't navigate the unchartered waters of a civilized society, outside of our own home, without me? Apparently so.

I saw my son (6) kiss and hug his friend (a girl) goodbye after her birthday party today. I was so surprised by it, it was so touching, his pure and sweet display of affection. When I asked him about it he became embarrassed, surprised that anyone had witnessed it. He didn't want to talk about it...now I feel that by asking him I may have tainted the innocence of that kiss.

My daughter, oh where do I begin? She has an entire network of friends and their job it is to keep us adults completely in dark about what they are really up to. Who likes who. What they know about stuff, important stuff like the birds and bees stuff! When I had "the conversation" with her, she looked at me as if I had 3 heads and acted completely grossed out. According to another Mom they have known for quite some time. She is quite an actress!

I now think they are more comfortable with who they are at 6 & 11, then who I am at 40(ish). They do not have the burden of past mistakes to hold them back, from taking a leap, or standing up for themselves. Trying out there social status among their peers, having fights with good friends and then figuring out how to work it out. Having first crushes. But they also don't have the experience I have to guide them along...nor do they seem to want it. This is the saddest part.

If I could have anything, I wish I could make them understand that I know how it feels, to be 6 or 11. I wish they would tell me what they tell their friends so I could help them make the right choices and not make mistakes they may hurt them or others. I want them to know I was one of them once...and I could keep a secret, I swear.