are you kidding? I have no clue, but I do know one thing that is certain. YOU CANNOT HAVE IT ALL. It's that simple.
I was just laying in bed with my daughter, thinking of all the things I should be, I could be doing. Putting away the 6 loads of clean laundry scattered across my bedroom floor, paying bills...they are almost over due now. I could empty the dishwasher and fill it back up with all the dirty dishes in the sink. But then I would be neglecting time with my daughter, who at 10 really won't be wanting me to lay with her much longer.
You can't work, be a mom, wife, partner, keep a (clean) house, stay thin, and look beautiful. Those who you think have it all...it's just a facade. At least thats what I'd like to think. I jokingly say about the person who is beautifully groomed with the impeccable home, "they lack creativity". But I really wonder... what have they given up?
So you have to give up something to get something. I for one give up having a clean house and because of that I have also given up entertaining. (Note to Lana, it's just too much, just say NO). But I have not given up on my friends...who could care less about my messy house and will pop over anyway. And get this...they will not say a word about the build up of dog hair on laundry room floor.
So I will spend more time with my kids, because in a very short while their world will not revolve around me anymore. I will tend to my overgrown garden and sit for a minute to enjoy the beauty of the daylilies (before the deer have them as a midnight snack) or just take a book and sink into the little slice of quiet time and the end of a long hectic day.
Trust me, you really can't have it all...(at least I am still trying to convince myself) but if you do let go, maybe you can enjoy some of life's fleeting beauty.
xo
sheryl
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Awesome! I always wondered why it was a reflection on the woman if the house was not tidy! I do not regret one minute that I played with my children when they were young rather than tend to the house. You can never retrieve their childhood so play when you can. To hell with the laundry!
AKA Becky akaa Happypixie
I am in such agreement with you!!! You only live once! I learned a long time ago when my kids were young that you need to give yourself permission to not live the "leave it to Beaver life" . If you spend most of your free time cleaning to make others happy, when will you have time to make yourself happy!! But I must say sometimes I feel funny when my clean friends come to my house. But hey life goes on.
Becky
It's funny how you called them "your clean friends". Do you think they think less of you because your house it not as clean as June Cleaver's? I saw a dish towel today that said "People with clean houses have no lives". I wish I bought it!
I am the most anal person I know (and probably that you know, too, Sher). I know that everything you've said is so right and I am making huge strides to become more easy going. It is not easy for me and consciously I know it in my brain when I am doing "anal things." I must struggle to talk myself out of my instinctive actions. I continuosly repeat to myself, "They are only young once, it goes by so fast, they are only young once, it goes by so fast."
It's sucky, but very true that the cleanliness of a house reflects on the "mother." I tell myself to take the "who gives a shit" attitude and it works for a short time until I find myself franticly picking everything up and yelling at the kids to help. Then I feel like crap. My self esteem is very low and it bothers me a lot about what people think of me, so I can only leave the house for so long. One day I was surprised by a neighbor and my house was a mess (trying out the new, relaxed me). I was devastated because it's "just not me." I pride myself on being a clean/organized person. I don't have much else to show for anything.
As you know, I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home and have more time than all the full time working moms such as yourself (who would say I have no right to bitch). But somehow, when you have that time, it gets filled up quickly. Not only with my own personal obligations, but when others know your home, they call for help with everything! Even to help run errands and other stupid shit. It's not only annoying, but degrading. Like I'm sitting around with my feet up waiting to serve others. If people think that of me and my house was a mess, I would certainly give the impression that I can't handle much and I'm unorganized.
Your Rant gives me the courage to not care so much about what others think and sometimes I just have to "Say NO!" Thank you for reminding me of what's really important and setting me straight. I need a kick in the ass every once in a while.
Luv ya Sher!
Milly
You need to give up caring about what others think, I know it is hard but once you do, you will feel so much better. You are an amazing woman and are doing what is best for your girls and your family. Relax and enjoy them. I Know, I know easier said then done!
Also who ever said you weren't working? You need to make it clear to people that you work from home and can't be asked to do things for them that will upset your schedule. Let the answering machine pick...get caller id. Set some boundaries.
Your house being clean is not a reflection of you, your kindness is.
Hang in there girlie!
xo,
Sher
I don't have any kids but I feel like I have five. My husband, roommate, 4 cats and a dog. I feel like I don't have a spare moment in the world especially for cleaning. My priorities aren't there. Right now school and work are. I wish I had more time for my family. I wont invite anyone over for that reason. so I know how you feel. My mom has to show up unannounced in-order for me to let her come over. I think we all need a cleaning Fairy. There is this song "it's okay" by Gazz you should listen to it some time. its kind of popish rock. :)
Kudos to you Sheryl! I love this blog. I have a sign hanging over my sink that says "A clean house is the sign of a dull woman." Whenever I read that I feel much better about the laundry all over the place or the toys I trip over every morning, or the candy wrappers under the couch. And now that summer's here, I've taken over my some of mom's mantras, (Yes, I have become her!)such as, "If the sun is shinin' the house ain't!" or, "Having a clean house with little children is like shoveling shit against the tide". Yes we can can all learn a thing or two from the wisdom of our moms! Life is WAAAYYY to short!!! So on that note, don't clean your house, I won't clean mine, and let's stop by and see each other soon! Love ya, Kerry
Post a Comment